Hey there,
My name is Wayne.
I am interested in knowing how you find yourself here looking at my life in its various pieces? I am interested to know how I got here as well but I am still on that journey. Without coincidence we find each other at the right moment for all the right reasons, so please feel free to look around. I have come here to meet you. I will let the Universe sort out the pattern of collision for now. I don't need feedback but if you like, I am open to your perspective. I take nothing personally and hope you never take offence to an honest breath, should I exhale in your direction.
Most of us, I believe, are searching for something we cannot name. Maybe an experience we can cling to, which I hope is just out of reach waiting for me around the next corner. I am looking for an inspiring voice I can barely hear but for the breath on my cheek. Perhaps, it is the taste of my first kiss or the passion I felt with my first lover. I am not sure, but I know most of us are still daring to find that which brings meaning to our lives. Perhaps that is why this site even exists; to find the magic in the world that we all feel is missing in some way. The passion I refer to is beyond where I know your mind has led- it is far more than any physical experience. I simply make the comparison so you understand the quest, which I am sure you do.
We all want to have a real and meaningful conversation in the honest hour without having to build a foundation first. I like to be raw and honest and to be free to say what has, and needs to be said. A relationship should be edgy. I would like to check for my pulse and actually feel it. That’s the kind of relationship I have with myself. One must nail themselves to the page and pen their truth in blood without apology or you are living for the sake comfort in the absence of your own unique beauty.
Primarily I like to think of myself as an artist. I play at local bars when I have the chance. I have opened for a few well-known Canadian acts, many of you may be familiar with, but what is in a name. I write my own music and record it digitally onto a laptop computer. I have had some radio play and was featured on a local TV special.
Writing daily has manifested a poetic memoir called Traces of Humanity, which I am in the process of blogging for now. It seems I have much to learn about form and style. My focus has been on content. Have a read and let me know what you think. I have posted several snippets' from the "book" in a group I created here called: Poetry or view my BLOG - Wayne Adam- Traces of Humanity by clicking the icon under my profile. I hope they mean as much to you as they did to me when I wrote them. I love to read and write songs and YAH, poetry! But not the dull boring crap that puts me to sleep. I like to write about things that are real and palpable. These, I suppose, are stories from the street and from the deepest places where we hide our pain. You know the one's buried in the cracks and crevices deep within that place where you think you may lose everyone in your life. That is the place of cool and greatness I think. So I am trying to get there. I think poetry is best as prose unless it is a song. I just want to believe it has some risk, some dance and some moxie. Charles Bukowski may have done it best, hence it is his photo displayed in the group. Ultimately the writing is cathartic and a selfish pleasure. It does allow me and hopefully the reader to get closer to the victim and the accused and the twisted way we find ourselves sitting in judgement on the outside of their pain watching though the looking glass. Perhaps it will make you feel less alone. Our darkest secrets in the light of day tend to do that.
As far as paying the bills goes I work as a Detective Constable in the Major Crime/Sexual Assault Unit and I am a partner in this website called ilooklikeyou.com. Our vision is to find your twin in the world and begin the process of "uniting the world one face at a time." I have an education and in my spare time I love to play as many instruments I can find the time to connect with. I have the heart of a poet and the laugh of a child. I have been told I am a dreamer and an idealist. Where is the passion if you do not have a dream and the conviction to follow it?
As an aside I had recently been teaching a psychic development class. Many believed I was gifted. Some were calling me the "Canadian John Edward". I am not quite sure I belong in that league but I am flattered by those who think I do. I have been working in several healing modalities perhaps more for myself than anyone else. You never know how much pain you carry from one day to the next in my profession. The healing kind of turned on some switches I wasn't convinced were there. It was fun at first just because it freaked some people out. I am very responsible with it now. I don't treat it like a game anymore. There is a profound sense of ease I have come to notice when you tell someone something you could have only gotten from one place. Yes, it freaks me out more than a little too. While at present I am not touring the world with this strange combination of wacky abilities, the local work has been picking up so I must be doing something that has support "out there". I have had a great deal of success with remote viewing as well but that is another story.
I grew up as a middle child with two sisters and an absentee father, who was replaced by the only man I will ever call Dad. We all know the broken family drama. The family I have helped to create is the absolute love of my life, forsaking all others.
I am guarded, as you can understand about where I am specifically and whom I love. As you know this medium is beautiful but can be encumbered by its own darkness. It is a dichotomy that is pervasive in life and unfortunately is unavoidable. I believe that love has no enemy, so there is no fight. There is no war and darkness is necessary to hold the light in parenthesis. Perhaps the one they have called Lucifer has not fallen but instead loved this “god” so much, the choice to be the opposite gave us all a choice in the process. I wonder if anyone could be a light bearer without being darkness personified?
Yes, I was raised Catholic. I am recovering from that process but I still cling to the metaphorical truth contained in some of the teaching. I do believe Evil exists but it is not a force in the Universe. There are only two I think, Love and Fear.
Evil is what man does with Fear.
Believe in whatever god you want. A truly loving god will be revealed based on what you have been raised to believe and in a way you that you can understand. So in essence, yes, you are all right and what you experience is real - just through a different perspective because that is the only one you know. The sooner we wrap our heads around this the faster the bombs will stop dropping.
This place is where you will find the magic I hope. Many other sites I find are like trying to have a conversation at a rock concert. While I enjoy Facebook it is like having a conversation in the lunch room. It scratches the surface of your life and the logistics of your day. It is good for a laugh and a hello but in the end seems to exist behind the same mask you show the rest of the world. Myspace is more like your bedroom wall at your parents house. It shows personality but again it is a display rather than a connection. I think of this site as being like an intimate dinner conversation after the third drink trickles into your mind freeing you to be real. I don’t want this to be a full time job. I do hope you find your mirror and connect enough with the truth of you to be open about who you are not your telephone number or where you live. You can only be searched by your face.
At the end of the day it is not about the where, what or how but- the who and the why of it.
I think we all want a conversation that touches you with words that are close to your need. The words that slip past the defences and fall into the empty spaces that yearn for something meaningful. My hope is that these connections will help to displace the pain we hold so tightly within our illusions.
This is the place that gives life to the connection between us.
Peace and Balance,
Wayne
P.S. - Thank you to those of you who have supported me over the years. Life would have less magic without you. And to those of you who did not, a special thank you because by knocking me down a step you provided me with the opportunity and the time to gather the strength I needed to jump up three more. Those you see as an enemy are your best friends! They are the instruments of your evolution. Bless you for challenging me!
If you want to be added to friends, just do it, you don't have to ask. I hope you like the writing and if you do drop me a line. I look forward to feedback either way. I will be posting some music as well and if you like that I would love to hear about it as well.
123
Favorite Posts and Sections